In They DonAt Come with Instructions, Hollie M. Holt-Woehl offers wise companionship for the journey with a developmentally challenged child.The mother of a son with an autism diagnosis, Holt-Woehl recognizes that parenting is never easy. Challenges abound as parents help children grow up and find their place in the world. But she knows firsthand that adding a developmental challenge makes parenting far more complex.Drawing on her own experience and that of nearly forty other parents she surveyed for this book, Holt-Woehl shares stories, information, and insights about tending to the pain, recognizing the joy, and finding ways to keep hope through the ups and downs of this path.The book focuses on the challenges of parenting children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD/ADHD), and/or Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS).Not only parents, but friends, family, and members of faith communities who seek to understand what it is like to live with a developmentally challenged child will appreciate Holt-Woehl's down-to-earth and compassionate approach.
Hollie M. Holt-Woehl is the mother of a young man with an autism diagnosis and profound hearing loss. She is also a Lutheran pastor with a PhD in pastoral care. She regularly teaches at Luther Seminary in Saint Paul, Minnesota, specializing in pastoral care and ministry with people who have mental health issues.
Acknowledgements Introduction: If Only Children Came with Instructions 1. Something As Not Quite Right: A Cry for Help 2. Down in My Heart: A Cry of Joy 3. It Never Ends: A Cry of Challenge 4. How Long?: A Cry of Pain 5. Conviction of Things Not Seen: A Cry of Faith 6. Grace for the Day: Wisdom to Care for Self 7. Listen Up! Wisdom to Share 8. Living with Hope 9. Resources 10. Bibliography
"In this groundbreaking book Hollie M. Holt-Woehl surveys the questions of parents going through the shock of the discovery that their child has special needs. She has provided a marvelous resource for parents negotiating the emotional journey of coming to terms with a life--and a child--they never anticipated." --Brian Brock "Through the voice of experience, Holt-Woehl weaves together stories, stanzas, and strategies that will equip and encourage other parents who find themselves on the remarkable journey of raising a child with a disability. She combines personal, pastoral, and fellow parent perspectives into a compelling book about hope, challenge, joy, and love." --Erik Carter, Cornelius Vanderbilt Professor of Special Education, Vanderbilt University "A gifted theologian, Holt-Woehl brings the organized thought process of theology to what can feel like a disordered and unexpected experience of parenting a child with development challenges. Focusing on Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder, Holt-Woehl meticulously examines the many facets that come with parenting. Using her unique lens as an academician and mother of two children--one with developmental challenges--she shares insights collected from many parents through her research. From grief to joy, this book explores the complex emotional journey of parenting a child with developmental challenges." --Lorna Bradley, author of Special Needs Parenting: from Coping to Thriving "Holt-Woehl addresses the deep questions--How do we live with both the pain and the joy of raising children with developmental challenges? What do we do when we can't make our children better? Can God handle our anger? How do we live with hope in what often looks like a hopeless situation?--in a straightforward and accessible style. After forty years of parenting through autism, ADHD, and mental illness, I can say without hesitation, this is a nugget of gold. Parents, families, friends, and church communities: pay attention!" --Kathleen Deyer Bolduc, author of The Spiritual Art of Raising Children and Autism & Alleluias "Hollie M. Holt-Woehl has taken her experience as a parent with a child with developmental disabilities, her calling and expertise as a pastor, and her willingness to do what she urges others to do--listen carefully to other parents and families before advising or prescribing anything--and molded them into a book that is honest, open, poignant, and full of wisdom coming from multiple parental journeys with a child or children with disabilities. Parents will find a companion in her book. People who want to help other parents and families will find excellent advice on how to do so, as well as the courage to walk alongside." --William Gaventa, director of the Summer Institute on Theology and Disability
