At five years old, Kristal Brent Zook sat on the steps of a Venice Beach, California, motel trying to make sense of her white father's abandonment, which left her feeling unworthy of a man's love and of white protection. Raised by her working-class African American mother and grandmother, Zook was taught not to count on anyone, especially men. Men leave. Men disappoint. In adulthood she became a feminist, activist, and "race woman" journalist in New York City. Despite her professional success, something was missing. Coming to terms with her identity was a constant challenge. The Girl in the Yellow Poncho is Zook's coming-of-age tale about what it means to be biracial in America. Throughout, she grapples with in-betweenness while also facing childhood sexual assault, economic insecurity, and multigenerational alcoholism and substance abuse on both the Black and white sides of her family. Her story is one of strong Black women-herself, her cousin, her mother, and her grandmother-and the generational cycles of oppression and survival that seemingly defined their lives. Setting out on an inner journey that takes her across oceans and continents, Zook tells the story of a little girl who never gives up on love, even long after it seems to have been destroyed. In the end she triumphs, reconciling with her father and mother to create the family of her dreams through forgiveness and sheer force of will. A testament to the power of settling into one's authentic identity, this book tells a story of a daughter's lifelong yearning, a mother's rediscovery of lost love, and the profound power of atonement and faith to heal a broken family.
Kristal Brent Zook is Professor of Journalism at Hofstra University and author of Color by Fox: The Fox Network and the Revolution in Black Television, Black Women's Lives: Stories of Pain and Power, and I See Black People: The Rise and Fall of African American-Owned Television and Radio. Zook's entertainment, cultural, and social justice journalism has appeared in Vanity Fair, the New Yorker, Life, Entertainment Weekly, the New York Times Book Review, Essence, the Washington Post, and elsewhere. She lives in Miami and New York.
Preface ix Acknowledgments xi 1. Kansas Avenue 1 2. Uncle Mervin 7 3. Noches 13 4. Laurel Canyon 17 5. Dra 23 6. Hollywood Boulevard 27 7. Rockin' Out 33 8. College Bound 41 9. Activist 47 10. Light-Skinned 55 11. Taking a Chance 63 12. Dad 69 13. ABD 79 14. Detour 87 15. Writer 95 16. Pain 105 17. Australia 111 18. Hiding 119 19. An Adventure 127 20. Alfonso 133 21. A New Life 141 22. Multiracial 149 23. Forgiving 155 24. Memories 159 25. Vashon Island 163 26. Thanksgiving 171 27. Lisa 177 28. Rekindled 183 29. Rage 189 30. A Birthday 195 31. Mothers 199 32. Transformation 207
"After thirty years of reporting, Kristal Brent Zook has turned inward to write a deeply personal, frank, and inspirational story about race and class." - Ada Calhoun, author of (Why We Can't Sleep: Women's New Midlife Crisis) "Kristal Brent Zook's coming-of-age memoir is a thought-provoking tale of triumph outdistancing pain, of never giving up on love and hope despite childhood traumas and a broken family. Kristal writes so beautifully and urgently. The Girl in the Yellow Poncho will absolutely absorb you." - Kevin Merida, coauthor of (Obama: The Historic Campaign in Photographs) "Brilliantly capturing the complexities of contemporary Black women's experiences, The Girl in the Yellow Poncho is the most riveting, compelling memoir I have read." - Beverly Guy-Sheftall, Anna Julia Cooper Professor of Women's Studies, Spelman College "Kristal's story touched me deeply. It will touch everyone who has struggled with feeling the 'in-betweenness' that propels her riveting heroine's journey to define herself and create the family for which she yearned. The writing is as powerful as the message: love ultimately triumphs." - Gloria Feldt, author of (Intentioning: Sex, Power, Pandemics, and How Women Will Take the Lead for (Everyone's) Good) "Kristal Brent Zook's memoir is a wrenching, riveting and luminous coming-of-age story about what it means to grow up biracial. Her journey reads like a multigenerational tale woven by strong biracial and Black women-in this case, the daughters, mothers and grandmothers of Zook's family. With grace and generosity, Zook offers a universal testament to the power of forgiveness and healing-and the strength found through discovering one's authentic identity. At a time when we often feel lost, this memoir reveals what it means to be found." - Katrina vanden Heuvel, Publisher, (The Nation) "Kristal Brent Zook has written an honest, illuminating look at her life, loves and culture." - Nelson George, author of (City Kid: A Writer's Memoir of Ghetto Life and Post-Soul Success) "A powerful memoir about a woman's odyssey for connection, self-identity, and love." (Kirkus Reviews) "In this intimate and generous memoir, Kristal Brent Zook explores the complexities of her past and the consummation of her present as a biracial daughter of a white father who left and the Black mother and grandmother who raised her." - Karla J. Srand (Ms. Magazine) "Zook recalls a childhood haunted by her missing father-and complicated by his return. A brave, heart-stirring memoir." (People)
