A Gift of Time is a gentle and practical guide for parents who decide to continue their pregnancy knowing that their baby's life will be brief. When prenatal testing reveals that an unborn child is expected to die before or shortly after birth, some parents will choose to proceed with the pregnancy and to welcome their child into the world. With compassion and support, A Gift of Time walks them stepbystep through this challenging and emotional experience -- from the infant's lifelimiting prenatal diagnosis and the decision to have the baby to coping with the pregnancy and making plans for the baby's birth and death. A Gift of Time also offers inspiration and reassurance through the memories of numerous parents who have loved a child who did not survive. Their moving experiences are stories of grief -- and of hope. Their anguish over the prenatal diagnosis turns to joy and love during the birth of their child and to gratitude and peace when reflecting on their baby's short life.A Gift of Time is full of practical suggestions for parents and for caregivers. It also features the innovative concept of perinatal hospice and palliative care. Caring and thoughtful, the book helps parents embrace the extraordinary time they will have with their child.
Introduction 1. The News: Receiving Your Baby's Diagnosis Before the Diagnosis Understanding Diagnostic Prenatal Testing Receiving the News The Immediate Emotional Storm 2. What Now? Making Decisions about Continuing Your Pregnancy Facing the Decision Options Presented Perinatal Hospice and Palliative Care Gathering Information Sorting through Your Values Making Decisions with Your Partner Consulting with People You Trust Deciding to Continue 3. The Emotional Journey: Grieving and Adjusting to Your New Path Anticipatory Grief An Overview of the Grieving Process Evolving Emotions Confronting Fears Techniques for Coping You and Your Grieving Partner Your Other Children Spiritual and Philosophical Aspects Living in the Twilight of Death Reclaiming Hope Your Reorientation and Adjustment 4. Waiting with Your Baby: Settling in for the Rest of Your Pregnancy Interacting with Others Finding Support Getting Appropriate Medical Care Embracing the Time Remaining 5. Making Medical Decisions: Choosing Care for Your Baby Researching Your Baby's Condition Researching Your Baby's Treatment Options Ambivalence about Medical Decisions Seeking Outside Advice Deciding to Wait and See Opting for Hospice and Palliative Care 6. Getting Ready: Preparing for Your Baby's Birth, Life, and Death Birth Planning Wishes for after Your Baby's Birth Including Your Baby's Siblings Including Your Family and Friends Other Practical Preparations Preliminary Funeral and Burial Planning Getting Closer to Birth 7. Welcoming Baby: Birth Experiences and Meeting Your Baby Approaching the Time of Birth When Birth Is Imminent Meeting Your Baby If Your Baby Lives after Birth Taking Baby Home 8. Saying Goodbye: Holding On and Letting Go Parenting Your Dying Baby The Dying Process Experiences with Babies as They Are Dying Time with Your Baby after Death Decisions about Your Baby's Body Relinquishing Your Baby's Body Funerals and Memorial Services Your Baby's Final Resting Place 9. Continuing Your Journey: After Your Baby Dies The Mother's Postpartum Recovery Your Grieving Process Continues Identifying Your Feelings More Techniques for Coping Regrets and Making Peace with Them You and Your Partner Your Other Children Dealing with the Outside World Subsequent Pregnancies 10. Reflections Reflections on Your Journey Spiritual Beliefs and Struggles Long-term Reflections on Grief and Healing Personal Transformation If You Could Reach Back in Time... Moving Forward with Gratitude Appendix: Sample Birth Plan Notes Index
""The authors have achieved their goals in writing this book; they bring comfort to the families going through this traumatic time, and make the health care providers who read it determined to 'do better.'""
